dont take offence.

haha i havent ranted in fucking agesss. dont mind spellings or grammer, im just writing down stuff in my mind. dont know why. i just NEEDED to post SOMETHING cuz i havent in a really long time. i do not mean to be funny, im writing this in absoulute seriousness, and if anyone feels the need to comment, go ahead.
this ones about religion.
god. lol.
it started out when me and a really good friend of mine at school ( and the rest of the class ) had to decide wether they wanted to continue learning religion, cuz at age 15 your allowed to choose your own religion.
in the end, it was just my friend, 2 other guys and me who decided not to continue. seriously, who wants to sit 2 hours a week reading fucking nonsense from the bible and learning about churches and memorizing a lot of dates and doing presentations. no thank you:)
but anyway, this was just the start.
people who have known me for awhile now, specially around last summer till last winter might now be thinking. ‘ huh? is this really christine typing this? wtf happened? ‘
il tell you what happened. COMMON SENSE happened. iv got a handfull of friends on facebook who are abso fucking lutly god crazy. i mean seriously,
why why why???
everytime i bloody think about it, the more i dont believe in it. iv gone to such extrems showing that i dont belive in god, that iv even sat on the shoulders of a jesus statue at the local chuch and posed with friends and poured vodka onto the statue.

here some (googled) bible experts:
My Child
You may not know me, but I know everything about you.
I know when you sit down and when you rise up.
I am familiar with all your ways.
I chose you when I planned creation.
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore.
My question is…Will you be my child?
I am waiting for you.

theres way more, i just cant be bothered:) but seriously come on.. 3 words. stalker, pedo and jobless person. why the FUCK would the oh so amazing god want to know how many freaking hairs there are on my head? where does he save all that? maybe hes got the lates iphone with a million billion terrabite on it yah know?

oh and then theres the churches. i HATE going to church with my friends. i wiggle out of it at every oppotunity but sometimes i really have to go. its like.. everyones so amazed when you come in and are introduced to people.. everyones like ‘ omg you’ve been converted, isnt it an amazing feeling? ‘ and then they proceed to put their hands on my shoulders and pray for me and thank the oh so mighty invisible man up there for having faith in me and some other bullshit. ( this seriously happened to me this summer )
going on.. theres also tiny glinch that they sing the most boring hymns after every 5 minutes and wave their hands about like their fucking drowning and randomly shouting out phrases like ‘ PRAISE JESUS ‘ or ‘ HALLELUJA ‘
it is seriously the funniest fucking thing ever to see people sitting on the floor, crying, because ‘ god touched them’
oh what a fucking amazing feeeeling! i just dont get why your crying. its supposed to be an amazing feeling, not give u fucking pain.
on top of all of this, church is usually on a sunday. who wants to wake up at 7 in the fucking morning on a fucking sunday to go and tell god who has an iphone how much you love him. then proceed to pray for a better job ( go work harder-.- )or to pass that test tomorrow ( why the fuck are you in church then? you should be bloody studying).
ANYWAY
after saying all this, lets say, there is a god.
why is there hunger, poverty, death, war etc? why are the a fucking million of poor, hungry people in africa? why do people get cancer? i mean seriously, lets say theres this woman. around 40, 2 teenages kids, a husband, a good job and good friends. she gets cancer. lived with it for 2 years. and dies. a christian would now say ‘ god saved her and took her to a better place.’ but WHY would he KILL a fucking HEALTHY woman to give her a better life? yeah explain that. explain why her kids then have to grow up without a mother. a mum is the most fucking important thing in your life, and then she dies. all because a fucking invisible man with an iphone wanted to ‘give her a better life.’ yeah, ouch.
then, theres noahs ark. god thought people were getting too evil, so he decided to kill everybody. except this random 600 year old man and his family. who got on a boat with 2 of EVERY FUCKING SPECIES ALIVE. thats 1 billion species x 2. its logically fucking IMPOSSIBLE.
yes, please explain that to me.

haha theres this one thingy in the bible where jesus goes ‘ dont call me a fool or u will be condemmned’
two pages later, he goes ‘ you fool! what were u thinking? ‘
ouch;)

il shutup now. but in conclusion: religion is the belief that there is an invisible man and this invisible man magically created the world and two people who then made billions of people. for that to happen, brothers and sisters would have to fuck each other, which is fucking incest. the invisible man ( with an iphone ) threatened all the people with an eternity of torture unless they showered him with praise and made buildings in his honour. then the invisible man wrote a book through ghost writers but people change is regularly so it means what they want it to mean. makes sense. kthnxbye:)

German Girls :)

Hey im Stefanie
im really 11 years old, drink alcohol and smoke, wear tshirts with playboy bunny prints and other than that, little to nothing. My thong often can be seen, because the boys find it sexy as i have such a sexy body.
All in all i buy my clothes 3 sizes to small, because that shows my curves more.
i earn my pocket money by prostitution and i lost my virginity at age 8. I have a crush on robert pattinson from twilight.
I had to repeat my class 3 times, but im just to cool to do anything about that. instead of the g-tab, i use the q-tab, use 6 as b, write everything in capital and always 2 ii’s. that looks like this – ii LOVE YOUH Miii 6e6ii, WE qotta MEET UP AND qo SOMEWHERE SOON.-!
i dont care about spelling mistakes.
ii NeVa EvA WaNNA LooZe Miii BFF’S. with all my ex boyfriends it was LoVe 4-EvA, Neffa EnDiinq Lowe StORii.
but this time, its really true. im really in love with him. never ending love story number 2765.
Other than that, i love annoying people in the train, bus or on the roads by blasting loud rap music from my phone. When im grown up, and by that i mean 14 years old, im hoping on becoming a playboy bunny. and with luck, id have my O/Ls done by then. if not. who cares.
LOWE,
STEFFii.

PS: message from chriz : THANK YOU GOD THAT I DIDNT GROW UP IN GERMANY.

Where did I go wrong?

For once, im gonna bitch about Srilanka

Most of you know, I lived at Lotus Grove, Dehiwela. Since I was 1 year and 4 months old. I grew up there.

Yeah theres a coupla pictures missing in between but who cares (:
Anyway. I had this talk with my mum a few days ago, about why she wouldn’t allow me to move back to srilank. What I learned made me ANGRY. So im gonna rant about it xD
See I was a real tomboy growing up, resulting that I had more guy friends than them girls.
Which was okay, until I was 10-11 years old. No one gave a fucking damn what I did, and who I hung out with. But yeah, thats when THEY started getting involved. By they I mean, the parents of the kids I grew up with. They thought I’d had enough fun growing up, now it was time for me to act my age and gender.
I cant recall most of the incidents properly, but they mostly consisted of me hanging out with guys, going swimming with guys, etc etc and the maids who are at the park at lotus grove during the evenings looking after the lil kids, going to their ‘ missies ‘ and telling them that ‘ Christine baba was at the pool again with guys XYZ ‘
then, these ‘missies’ calling my DAD at WORK and telling him about what I had done during the day. ( They didnt call my mum, ’cause she’s german and she doesnt understand such ’srilankan traditions’. )
Anyway, when my dad got these calls, he’d come home, tell my mum, and I’d get the computer/internet/phone confiscated for who knows how long.

Heres a bit from a Diary I used to keep, recalling a such event. : ‘ Hollie ( good friend of mine ) came over today and we had loads of fun, until now. We were bike riding with a couple of other kids and we stopped at the park for a lil while to talk to some people. My maid saw us, as she had come to the mini market to get some groceries. The other maids told her I’d been with the guys. ( I wasnt allowed, because of a previous incident). The maid went and told my mum, who came, pulled me home, confiscated everything, and gave me the longest lecture ever about how I was supposed to finally be able to listen to rules and be responsible. ‘

ohyeah.
so anyway, now my parents think I wont be able to handle moving back, because of all the freedom I’ve been allowed here. Because the whole things gonna start all over again. With me and the guys. AND I’v got boobs now, which makes everything worse. haha
Anyway.. THANK YOU Aunty A, Aunty B, Aunty C and Aunty DEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUWXYZ. Thanks to you, I can’t come back. Thanks to all of you my parents dont trust me in srilanka anymore. Just because all of your’ll grew up in latha homes with srilankan traditions , and didnt know what ‘boys’ were till you were 30+.. yeah THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR FUCKING RUINING EVERYTHING. I’ll see all of you in summer Will be intresting wont it?
The Fray – How to save a life

I’d rather have Magic Powers than Sparkle in the sunlight :D

To be honest I did the whole Twilight thing for awhile, but now its just plain annoying. It isnt even that good a book. Its got NOTHING on harry potter. It isnt even on my favourite books list. I only like Jacob Black, and the only reason im gonna be watching New Moon is because of TAYLOR LAUTNER. ( I’ll most probably watch Eclipse and Breaking Dawn too, but just out of curiousity. And attraction to Taylor Lautner.)
- Jacob is HOT. Edward is freezing. Who wants to cuddle with a icecube?
- Jacob is only dangerous to Bella when he’s angry. Edward is dangerous all the time (especially once a month: If Bella’s paper cut puts him on edge, what does her period do?)
- Edwards a 100+ years older than Bella. Jacob just two years.
- Jacob listens to Bella and compromises. Edward decides what’s good for Bella and dictates.
- Jacob makes Bella happy. Edward makes Bella anxious and obsessive.
OH YEAH, AND.. Jacob is alive. Edward is DEAD.

Haha and, anyone notice the first two fucking hundred pages, its a mystery what Edward is. Not that the back cover mentions anything to with that.
They only love each other because she smells good and he’s hot. There’s no other given reason why.

Vampires vs. werewolves (isn’t that a Facebook application and such a original idea?)

Stephenie Meyer wrote about something that every new writer writes about. Forbidden love. The whole series was totally predictable. Harry Potter is the most original book I’ve ever read.
Stephenie Meyer doesnt use any original names in her book, the only being ‘ Renesmee’ which is a mix of two names, and so, doesnt count. Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, Severus Snape, Cornelius Fudge, Minevra Mcgonagell, Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington/Nearly Headless Nick , Winky,Dobby and Kreatcher, Dolores Umbridge, Nymphadora Tonks, Luna Lovegood, Alastor “Mad-Eye” Moody, Bellatrix Lestrange.. I could go on forever. And nope, dont see anything original about that.
Rowling crafted a multidimensional universe with complex characters and plot threads that ran through all seven books, with minutiae in the first book becoming important later on–and she wasn’t afraid to make authorial sacrifices along the way, as anyone who read the entire series can attest. Rowling knew when it was necessary to not have everything go swimmingly because it made her universe resonate so clearly with our own, where bad things happen and sacrifices have to be made. Did Stephenie Meyer kill anybody? Point made. Oh yeah, Twilight is a ‘ROMANCE’. Anyone else read a (MINIMUM DETAILED) sex scene before the fourth book, or is it that I just cant read?

Im Done.

I’ve had it with these mother fucking snakes on this mother fucking plane!

HAHAHAHA
watched Snakes on a plane for the 3rd time last night with my brother.
IMDB’d it after. IMDB’d Snakes on a train too. ( Worst movie ever lol )
Next up is ‘Snakes on a Lane’, where Samuel L. Jackson mutates into an English farmer and has to deal with an outbreak of killer snakes on a narrow country lane.
Or “Snakes on a Lane” could be about a bowling alley filled with deadly snakes. I can see the tagline….This Summer….They Will “STRIKE.” That would be good.
Or, “Snakes in the Drain” bugs start crawling out of the drain in a wealthy bitch’s house.
Snakes on Stage: The Broadway Show.
Or “Snakes on a Dane”, about an unlucky danish guy.
Don’t forget Snakes on a Crane. That could be interesting.
Snakes in a Brain. A snake lays eggs in an ear, and they hatch out inside…
Snakes on David Blaine, where all the snakes dissapear!
Snakes in my vain, Junkies know what i mean.
Snakes in the rain : The Musical
A porn: Snakes up in jane
Snakes Take the Blame- a story where SPIDERS attack people on a plane but the snakes are kind and take the blame for it.
Snakes That Are Tame: The most boring movie of all time. Just a bunch of snakes that want to attack people, but can’t unless they’re commanded to.
Snakes At A Game: Sports movie, some big event like the Super Bowl gets over-run with snakes.
Snakes Are To Blame: A documentary depicting how movies with snakes are ruining our culture.
Snakes On A Stain: set in a laundrymat.
Snakes on Cocaine:Russian mafia uses snakes to transfer cocaine to the USA
Snakes with a Sprain: Some of the snakes are hurt from their last adventure. The film follows the hardships they must face.
Snakes steal Mary Jane: Spider man gets his woman back from the snakies
Snakes eating grain: Snakes that turn vegan
Snakes in Spain – Snakes head to Europe in search of sun and pina coladas
Snakes on AIM – snakes discover the internet and attack through AOL instant messenger
Snakes with Migrain – Haha these are getting pretty pathetic.

Finally – Snakes Explain : Figure it out

Going in another direction, we could have Flakes on a Plane – a plane gets overrun with killer chocolate bars. Or snowflakes
or Cakes on a Plate – Parody of Snakes on a Plane about a bunch of midget, homicidal chefs attacking.

Okay, Im Done

Jordan Kyle

hahahha
So theres this guy, his name is kyle, and i really like him
..but his names not kyle, its just this nickname my friends and I use so that he wont know we’re talking about him. aaaaaaaaaand one fine day I had the smart idea to create a fake profile on ‘ Schuelervz ‘ , the german facebook, to make kyle jealous. And so like, my friend and I went on this facebook group ‘ Facebooks Hottest Teen’ and chose the cutest guy there, added him, and stole his photos dont tell anyone (: and this guy who we added is a self obsessed little bitch with over 300 pictures of ONLY himself, and he’s married to a different girl every single day haha. but he’s still cute (:
but anyway, so we stole the pictures, made the profile and added all the girl in my school.
haha It was so funny watching all these girls at school who I know, comment on his pictures and sending messages asking for email addys and what not
The only girl he replied to was me on my own profile IN english lol. The story was that, Jordan Kyle was this half german half american guy I knew when i lived in SL, through our parents, and he moved to New York around the same time as I moved to germany, we lost contact for awhile, but when we began talking again. and since he can speak german I told him to make a profile on this site. hahaha.
Funniest thing was Jordan ( aka Me) wrote on my wall saying :
omg this girl sent me a message saying ‘ heiii kannst du mal bitte commii in meinem neuen album machen, dankeee KUSSI (K)’ ( Translated : hey could you please comment on the pictures in my new album, thankkyouu KISS (K) )
he countinued with ‘ maybe I should reply, ‘no your ugly and i dont want to make commis on your pictures? ‘
hahaha apperently this girl had seen this, and since them dumb germans dont understand much english, she comes to me in school the next day and askes wether he said anything good about her, and wether i could put in a good word about her to him, since we’re really good friends appernetly’
HAHAHAHHAHA i laughed so hard, the poor girl didnt know what to do.
’nuff about the 13 year old brats, the REAL (fake-named) Kyle, totally fell for it too! The day after we made the profile, he comes to My friend and I and goes ‘ this Jordan guy, you girls just find him cool just cuz he speaks english right’ haha so adorable (:
Jordan kyle the super cute american guy still has his SVZ profile, getting lets say about 10 messages a day from adoring fans; but I think I (from nowon known as FrizChriz) am over Kyle. but THAT ladies and gentleman is a story for another time

Here a few pictures of Jordan Kyle :

I was the one who saw you first, a grain in the sands of the universe (:

Maybe I’m wrong in the way I think about love, and being with someone. Maybe I’m messed up to think that the best part of being with someone isn’t “hanging out,” or physically being there for them. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a very important and necessary part of a relationship- and if you don’t have it, then it can’t work. But it’s just not, and never has been the best part for me. I just love the silent things. The things you can’t touch or see. It’s the things you feel. It’s not worth not being with someone if you want it. Distance doesn’t matter to me. Not one bit. I could care less. Because I’ve learned a little more about trust. I’ve grown up a little. And I believe if you find that one person you cannot live without — Well, I don’t know a lot about love, but I know enough to know that if you’re lucky enough to find that – If you are blessed enough to come across that one person, don’t let them go. Because love, for the most part, is the feelings that you get in return. I don’t think love is what you GIVE – but the part you get back. Everyone always says “love” is a feeling. But as nice as it sounds to say that when you give something, you feel it. I think it’s wrong. You can care about someone, and would do anything for them. But without them returning that feeling, then you won’t feel a thing. And that’s what love is to me. Knowing that someone who heartedly cares, and unconditionally wants you there for them, and the other way around. Love is the way they smell when you hug them, and the way when they laugh, just watching them slows down in your mind. Love is when you’re talking to someone, and you notice the small things about them – every little detail. Freckles on their collarbone, the blue flecks in the middles of their eyes, the way their hair falls around their face, they way their eyes look when they’re sad, … just all of it. It’s finding someone who needs you, wants you, and can’t sleep without knowing you’re alright. It’s the kind of thing that sees why you should be with someone. Why you’re with someone not because of the love you THINK you have, but because of the love you know for sure is (and has always been) between you. You’re not friends because of the laughs you spend, but because of the tears you SAVE. Love to me is not wanting to be near that one person because of the thoughts you share, but wanting to be near them for the words you never ever have to speak. And I know that you aren’t in love to miss someone because of what you DO – but because of what you are TOGETHER. Love doesn’t let go, it endures. It doesn’t let go because nothing else completely and fully exists outside of it. It’s a sense of safety that keeps hundreds of thousands of people going every single day. It’s the only way we know for sure things are going to be okay. And I don’t know about anyone else in this world, but it’s the one thing that makes me WANT to wake up everyday. Because I love. And not just PEOPLE. But I love everything that I’m blessed enough to have. Love holds on because it’s all we have. Love is the only way we know for sure that angels DO exist, that hearts DO skip, and that butterflies in your stomach isn’t just something cute five-year-old girls say when the little boy who sits beside her lets her use the bright purple crayon. So why would you ever risk letting that person go who makes you feel that? Because of distance? Because of time? Because to risk that – you would be risking letting that angel, that piece to your puzzle, that light, and sense of all things good – you would be letting that go. Letting it slip away. You would be losing that. And to me that’s everything. It’s the closest thing any of us has to magic. But most of all, it’s the only chance any of us in this entire world have to FEEL something. To feel real.

No I didnt write this, but its goddamn beautiful

I never wanted to grow up. But time is something you cant stop. I’ve been in germany for almost two years now, and times FLOWN. I’m two years older. Gained two years more experience in my life. I now look at 11-12 year olds and think about how stupid they are- until i realise i was just like them. Is this what the older kids thought when i clung myself onto them? was i really that small?
I used to think I was ‘mature’ when i was that age. i liked to think i knew everything. hang out with the older kids, have boyfriends, not obey rules. When we moved it was like a whole world breaking together for me :S It took me a LONG time to get over it.
There comes a time when you realise that some things are and aren’t worth fighting for, you realise that every little attempt wont matter because in the end the result is still the same, we all have to grow up one day and face the real world.
Im realising so much now. How stupid i was to hate my parents for me here. For changing myself. For refusing to try and make friends here in germany in the hope that my parents would take me back.
I have realized that …Words hurt me more than the wounds that I had suffered in life.
I have realized that …No matter how many times I pray, I only get what I rightfully deserve
I have realized that …If you make decisions with your heart, you are bound to regret them later in your life…
I have realized that …Smiling all the time can really hurt…
I have realized that …Tears convey more than what words can ever say…
I have realised that i have got to FIGHT for what is mine, for my beliefs and thoughts
NOONE has the right to dare to judge me
i want to be able to speak my mind and tell people what i think and not be judged for it.

I WEAR BLACK, so I must be a goth or emo.
I HANG OUT AT PLAYGROUNDS..so that must mean im immature
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I must be looking for attention.
I speak my mind.. so i must be a bitch right
I’m SINGLE so I must be ugly.
I’m YOUNG, so I must be naive.
I CRY, so I must be a wimp.

Some(of the many)judgement that have been thrown at me.

but ;
I know i have been selfish. I havent been thinking of anyone other than myself.when i said i hated germany and my parents and god, i was only thinking about myself. but my parents knew id come around. and i finally am. and im sorry. im sorry to everyone iv ever hurt. anyone who loves me. anyone who cares. im so fucking sorry. forgive me.

ppl, please. don’t say you don’t deserve to live. i’ve said it alot, but i’ve been thinking. out of every bad thing, a good thing comes out of it. if i hadn’t gone through the bad things in my life, i wouldn’t be here. i probably wouldn’t have the friends i have, and probably like the ppl i did like. i wouldn’t have learned all of these lessons, and probably would’ve stayed the same. regret nothing and live. life is too short to regret something that once made you smile. so smile, put your best foot forward and walk. don’t run, walk through your life. don’t rush anything, cuz rushing ain’t good. rushing only leads to bad things. don’t rush, take your time. you will find so many good things, hiding.

i know this whole thing makes probebly no sense at all. it may talk in opposites and some stuff might have reaccurded. its just everything in my mind.yeah my minds a mess. but to everyone whos read the whole thing. thank you.
This will be my final note.

PS : the titel is a lyric from the song im listening to atm – ‘ Shades of Love; Ben Easter ‘
rather addicting. but i love it:)

Hello World :D

This is my third attempt at a blog. ( sorry blog people for using up blog names )   The first attempt – Complete Shite. Lets not talk about it.  The second attempt – Well it was pretty good, but lets not talk about that either. Now, – Third times the charm right.        aaanyway a little about me :

Everyone makes mistakes, mine was to constantly change to keep different people happy.
I used to have long texts about myself in ‘about me ‘ sections, so that everyone would know how arrogant and awesome I thought I was. Then I realised that no one here has the right to judge me. I have no idea what qualities I have, only the people who see me everday know what kind of person I am. Im not perfect or special, I still dont know everything about myself and to most people, Im a puzzle.
There are very few who really understand me, and know who I am, and this is exactly why they are the most important people in my life. Im fighting my way through life and I dont want any sympathy from anyone. I dont like giving up and I like being right. Maybe Im a little weird and make a thousand mistakes. Im still me, and this time, Im not changing for anyone.

Heres a picture of me : http://photos-g.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v2705/163/67/571245268/n571245268_2997798_6090376.jpg

and im gonna be blogging about.. whatever i feel like blogging, so be prepared for the most random stuff.

ignore swearing. and PLEASE do NOT complain about spelling and grammer. i really dont care